What do we mean when we talk about Nervous System Regulation?
Over the past few years, I’ve watched the terms “nervous system” and “regulation” become increasingly more common. I often hear people say things like “I’m feeling dysregulated”, or “that’s really regulating for me”, or “I need some co-regulation”.
But what do we mean when we talk about nervous system regulation?
In breaking this down, I first want to make one important differentiation, which is the difference between the state of nervous system regulation, and what it means to have a generally “regulated” nervous system. Knowing how to regulate your nervous system through a technique or tool is different from having a natural capacity for regulation.
First, I’ll explain what a state of nervous system regulation is.
Our nervous system is designed to live primarily in a state of regulation. This means that our body is, physiologically, in a state of homeostasis. The body is excreting normal excitatory and inhibitory hormones, our blood pressure and heart rate are normal, and our digestion is functioning properly. In this state, we have the capacity to be present, and to feel connected to other humans. We feel safe, and can trust that the world and other humans (with discernment) are generally safe. We are able to accurately perceive if there is a threat in our environment, and feel at ease if there is not.
So what happens if there is a threat in our environment? For example, what if we get into a minor car accident, or if we hear an alarming noise or encounter a threatening stranger? Part of having a regulated nervous system is that we can trust that our body can accurately perceive this threat and will move into a threat response. This happens in a fraction of a second. Our body will start to send blood to the limbs to prepare them for fight/flight, the muscles in our ears will temporarily change so that we can better hear the low-tone frequencies associated with threat cues, our memory enhances so that we can store the sign of danger for the future, our eyes begin to automatically scan the lower jaw of other humans to gauge signs of aggression, and we go into a state of hypervigilance where we speed up in scanning for signs of threat in our environment through the senses, and through our perception of if the other humans around us are also perceiving threat. Our energy goes towards this fight/flight preparation, redirecting energy away from many of the internal organs (other than the heart and lungs), and especially the digestive system. We also look towards the other humans in our environment, quickly determining who is safe and if we can move towards others for greater protection.
This brilliant design has allowed for us humans, a relatively vulnerable species, to keep ourselves safe from predators and environmental threats. However, we are also designed to automatically move out of a threat response and back into a state of regulation once we have been able to successfully fight or flee, or determine that the threat has passed. Ideally, we will then discharge the excess stress hormones that we had released through shaking, and eventually our heart rate, breath, and blood pressure will return to normal.
Self regulation refers to the instinctual capacity of our nervous system to move back into a state of regulation when we have become activated. We are designed to automatically self regulate when the threat that sent us into activation is no longer present.
When we have spent long periods of time living in a state of activation, especially during our formative years, our nervous system loses its natural capacity to rest in a state of regulation as a baseline. Basically, we lose (or never learned) the ability to self regulate. Our nervous system ideally begins to learn patterns of self regulation in utero, when we are absorbing the cycles of our gestating parent’s stress vs. relaxation hormones. We begin to create a pattern of our own nervous system through entraining to our parent while we are in utero, and this entrainment continues for our first several months of life. We are not meant to be able to self-regulate as babies, but rather to co-regulate with our caregivers, meaning that we rely on them to provide us with the connection, comfort, and physical contact that supports us to calm down and have a safe space to discharge excess stress hormones as needed. When our caregivers are either mainly dysregulated themselves, or are unable to provide us with consistent co-regulation for another reason (perhaps they are often absent and we are left alone for long periods of time), we stay in states of fight/flight for long periods of time, and if this happens quite a bit when we are very young, eventually the nervous system can move into a state of freeze (collapse). These patterns then become what our nervous system knows as its baseline. Variations of fight, flight, and freeze become the norm of how our nervous system experiences the world, and our capacity to handle stress or threat responses is already compromised going into an experience of activation, and it is more difficult to find our way to a state of regulation.
If we had healthy co-regulation and modeling of regulation during our early developmental time, we have an increased capacity to handle activation, and a greater resiliency to return to a state of regulation following activation, later in life. However, even if we had healthy regulation early on, it is also possible to be exposed to life-threatening events that are so overwhelming to our nervous system, or to be exposed to chronic toxic stress, that narrows this capacity later on.
If we don’t have a natural capacity for regulation, we often need support to “re-train” (or, in some cases, train for the first time) our nervous system to shift out of a chronic threat response and be able to experience regulation as our baseline state. We also may need support to teach our nervous system how to return to regulation when we become activated. This is generally a long slow process, and is the basis of my work as a Somatic Counselor and Bodyworker.
There is an emphasis these days on “nervous system regulation” tools. Ideally, self regulation comes naturally - our body knows what to do to return to regulation when appropriate, and we only go into activation when there is an actual threat to our survival. The need for nervous system regulation tools signifies that your nervous system is not experiencing true regulation. Tools can be helpful as a part of the process of your nervous system learning regulation, but they are like crutches that you use while your broken leg is healing - eventually you no longer need the crutches and your bone is knit back together and able to once again support you.
If you’re experiencing a constant feeling of stress, urgency, or fear, or if you have chronic anxiety, insomnia, or in some cases, depression, you are likely experiencing a nervous system that is stuck in fight, flight or freeze. If you get overwhelmed often and it takes a long time for you to calm down, you likely have a more narrow capacity for regulation. If you’re relying on tools like breathwork, meditation or polyvagal exercises to regularly manage your levels of stress or activation, you likely have a compromised ability for self-regulation.
You deserve help retraining your nervous system so that you can feel calm, trusting, at ease, and safe! Please reach out to me or another nervous system-trained somatic practitioner for support. I’d love to help you regain your inherent right to a regulated nervous system, and therefore a life of ease and safety.
